Tag: preschool

Help Me Do It Myself

Posted on by mnurture

 

My last blog post listed the four needs of children and expounded upon the first – belonging and significance. Today we look at the second need, perceptions of capability. The information I am sharing with you is from the book ‘Positive Discipline for Preschoolers’ and is very compatible with the Montessori philosophy. The title of this post is actually a quote from Dr. Montessori herself as she was describing young children. They want you to ‘help me do it myself.’

If you have a two to four year old in your life you have seen their need for independence. Children at this age are learning they are different human beings from mom and dad, sister and brother and exert this independence in sometimes quite inconvenient ways. They insist on doing everything independently, even when they can’t quite do everything themselves. This can be a harrowing time for parents who are in a hurry. 

So why is it so important for young children to feel they are competent? I think we all want our children to learn to make decisions, learn new skills and trust in their abilities. However, if we never give them the time to practice these skills they won’t learn them. Words (‘Great job!) are not enough to instill a sense of confidence in children. Such constant praise only puts children on the path of trying to get more adult attention. Children need to learn through experience that they are capable people. Feeling capable comes from developing solid skills (pouring a drink, cleaning up a spill, changing own clothes, helping make dinner, cleaning up toys, etc.) 

One of the first things my students (ages 3-6) are thrilled with in the classroom is pouring their own drink of water any time they want. For many of them it is the first time they have been given this freedom and responsibility. We have a small glass pitcher and each child has her own cup. They pour their own water any time during the day and drink as much as they want. If something spills, they are responsible to clean it up (after being shown the towels provided for this task and how to do it). Another added benefit of this activity is that at the beginning of the year the students drink so much water that they also get a lot of practice in using the bathroom! 

We can see that something so basic – pouring her own drink whenever she wants it – builds up the child’s confidence. For a lot of the year children tell me when another student spills something. My response is always the same: “I know that (insert name here) knows how to clean up his spill. I don’t need to worry about it.” And guess what? The child always clean up. He has been given the tools and trust to be confident. No ‘good job’ comment can instill that kind of confidence and responsibility. As adults, we need to find more and more ways to give our children the chances to practice being capable. In doing so, they will become capable and confident.

In a Preschooler’s Pocket

Posted on by mnurture

A good friend just tagged this article to me on Facebook: Sweet Photo Series Reveals What’s in a Preschooler’s Pocket.To be honest, it made me laugh. I think a companion article should be ‘Sweet Photo Series Reveals What’s in a Preschool TEACHER’S Pocket.’

 

I have to admit that children are my passion. I live for them and live to understand them and to help them grow and develop. If you meet me at a party be prepared for me to bore you out of your mind with stories about children and how amazing they are. 

So, after seeing the above article, you may be thinking, young children steal lots of things from school? Well…yes…if you are thinking like an adult.

But really…no…if you can try to think like a young child. 

To think like a child you must understand her development. Preschool children are very literal and very self centered. They can not yet understand another person’s point of view. In psychological mumbo jumbo this is referred to as ‘Theory of Mind’. They are still learning that they can’t have everything they want when they want it.

So…in the classroom, when a child sees something he finds interesting he wants to take it home. He wants to show his brother or his dad or his mother. He doesn’t have the ability to think about the fact that what he is taking belongs to another person or to another environment (school). 

I have had several instances where parents of young children were horrified when they found objects from school in their child’s pockets or backpack. I’ve even had parents return to school the same day to return items!

Children in the preschool years are in the sensitive period for small things and order. Thus, it makes perfect sense that they are obsessed with those tiny objects they find at school. To be honest, if something small is lost, the best way to find it is to let the children know we are looking for it. They always find it. I never do.

So…back to the preschooler’s pocket treasures. I like to sit back and observe what the child has in his or her pocket. It tells me a lot about the child. It tells me where her interests lie, how I can use those interests to engage the child in learning and, perhaps, where we need more social learning.

If you are the parent of a child with a pocket full of contraband, take a moment to contemplate the items. What do they tell you about your child? How can you use this information to further your child’s education by honing in on his interests? Ask your child some open ended questions about these items. (Where did you find this? Tell me about this rock. What is this? Why do you think this (rock, sparkle, etc.) is interesting? ) Think on the level of your preschooler…’Hey, this thing is cool. I want to keep it.’ rather than, ‘I’m going to sneak this away from my class. Mrs. Bitts won’t miss it.’ 

Remember, preschoolers aren’t socially aware enough to be so deceptive. They are still acting on their immediate desires. We can talk to them about their feelings (I can tell you really liked this shiny star and wanted to keep it forever) and then gently talk to them about the social and moral issues (The rule at school is that we have to keep things that belong to the school at school. You would be sad if you didn’t have the ____ at school to play with. Why don’t you take it back to school tomorrow so someone else can enjoy it and you can share it with your friends.)

When we look through the lens of childhood and understand the developmental stages of our children, these seemingly large issues are put into perspective and make everyone just a little more understanding.